My first time skiing

My first time skiing, was the first time I kissed another girl.

Growing up I'd gone through the tomboy phase then turned into a total girly-girl by the time I reached 7th grade. That was the same year I transferred schools, now I was going to a co-ed private catholic school. I quickly made friends with Mandy* (names been changed for privacy).

By the time Martin Luther King day rolled around Mandy and I were inseperable and were planning on going to PeakNPeak in New York for the weekend with her family and 3 other families that all shared a house there. We brought another girl close with us in our grade from school- Katie.

The weekend started off wonderfully, we got there I had a private lesson and then we hit the hills. Soon Mandy had taught me to go down black diamond runs and I was having a marvelous time just goofing around and skiing with Mandy and Katie.

When the three of us came in for dinner and then hot chocolate around the fire, I noticed how Mandy's dark brown hair shone in the light and her eyes glittered like two stones of amber when she laughed. It was the beginning of an experience...

That night Mandy and I decided to grab our sleeping bags and squeeze into the oversized coat closet by the back door to sleep, Katie would sleep on the couch across the room. At first it was innocent, talking and laughing about the day, boys we knew, and gossip we'd heard. The three of us chattered like squirrels and then Katie went to bed around 3 a.m.

Mandy and I talked, and then she reached over and held my hand. Her touch was electrifying and it send jolts up and down my entire body. She played with my fingers in the darkness and even without the light I could feel her staring at me, waiting for something. There was a lull in our conversation and all you could hear was Katie's soft snores from the couch.

And then Mandy leaned over and putting herself on top of me grabbed both sides of my face and began to kiss me. All at once a rush of emotions surged through my entire body and I kissed back, our tongues and lips tangling in excitement and lust.

When we woke up the next morning, it wasn't really morning. It was 3 in the afternoon, and everyone had already left the house! Mandy and I enjoyed the time alone together and ate breakfast on he back porch, it was cold and and sitting wrapped in a blanket eating off one plate felt so right. I felt the urge to lean over and kiss her, but when I moved toward her she pulled away.

All the skiing over the three days tired the two of us out, but not enough to stop us from staying up all night, exploring each others bodies and learning where to touch and taste. I loved every second of my time with her, and on our last night together I cou;dn't help but wish that it wouldn't end. We lay on the pullout couch mattress in a sweaty pile just running our fingers over each others bodies. I play with her hair and she whispered quietly "Does this mean we're lesbians?" I moved toward her and kissed her cheek. "I think it means we just like girls too."

Mandy shook her head and said "I don't want to like girls." She got up and took her clothes into the bathroom with her and soon I could hear the shower running and Mandy scrubbing my sweat and kisses off of her.

I thought maybe she was just confused and even a little scared like I was and on the drive home I wondered what I could say to make her feel better. I felt the same inner turmoil she did but I was willing to work through it to see what these feelings meant for me.

Mandy wouldn't talk about it and the next time we had a sleepover we slept in different rooms, which was how she wanted it. I didn't understand why I was feeling the way I did and why she wasn't feeling it too. The friendship began to fade as I began to explore my new sexuality and she pretended nothing ever happened. I've since had relationships with men and women, but I'll always wonder about Mandy and one other girl. They're my two that "got away" and I hope they have every happiness in the world, because being proud of my sexuality is just one more piece to my own happiness.